Utajuku Monthly Song Concert “Snow/New Year” (December 2020) *Includes judge review

Utajuku is a school for learning ``modern classical Japanese poetry.'' We look up to the Kokin Wakashu, the first imperial anthology, and refine our studies every day, and once a month we compose poems for each other based on a specific theme.
"Utajuku" for reciting waka poems

At the December 2020 poetry gathering, the following poems were received. I would like to introduce some excerpts.

Title: “Snow”

``Following the sasanqua flowers that stood in the hedge until Kinofu, the first snowfall''

Judge's review: A combination of the winter flowers sasanqua and the first snow.Sasanqua can also be red, but here it is definitely white. Although it can be described as an ordinary scene, the combination of colors and the personification of snow transform it into a beautiful early winter song.

``In the middle of the night, the rain turns to snow, and I wonder if you will come, my dear love.''

Judge's review: This is an homage to a certain Christmas song that was all the rage in the 1980s, and when it's made into a song like this, you can tell that it's a very waka-like scene. However, in order to make it the original version of a certain song, it is necessary to develop the lyrics rather than just comparing them. For example, ``The rain on a winter's night is turning into snow, and it's hard to believe it won't come true.''

“The sound of falling snow plays in Sakinuma, which reflects the stage of the dry lotus.”

Judge's comment: ``Sakinuma'' is a poetry poem of Nara City, and ``Kakitsubata'' and ``Ominaeshi'' are written in Manyoshu, but ``Lotus'' is probably the author's landscape. The song depicts snow falling silently on a withered lotus, making the lotus look like a ``stage'' as the author calls it. It's hard to continue saying ``Yuki wa Shizuka naru.'' Should I simply say ``Yuki wa Shizuka naru.'' In addition, I would like the conclusion to be a simple landscape song, with the phrase ``sounding'' instead of ``singing'' (will, speculation).

``Look at the cloudy snow in the sky as a dancing flower for you.''

Judge's review: A song about snow that foreshadows the coming spring.This is the beauty of waka poetry. The conjunctive modifier "Yuki no Furinuru" can be heard a little. For example, I would like to connect it to the second verse by saying, ``Hisakata no Amagiriru Yuki wa Far Naru''.

``A bright, clear snowy morning with a crown of snow on the pine trees in my garden.''

Judge's review: A dazzling winter morning scene with snow covering the pines. It gives an image of sublime rather than mere beauty. It is a humble word for ``tamawaru'', a Chinese word for ``cap'' and ``clear snow,'' and the ``sanku'' and ``requiem'' words are effective. However, it is not possible to understand from the song why it is called ``tamawaru''. Also, I would like you to consider what would happen if you read the poems ``Kan'' and ``Sunny Snow'' in Yamato language.

Title: “New Year’s Eve”

``Maybe it's the end of the year when I let my pole float along the flowing river.''

Judge's review: The way the book expresses the speed of the passage of time through the words ``the ferry's pier'' is wonderful. It is a well-crafted song that is similar to Hyakunin Isshu's ``Yura no To wo'' and is also reminiscent of ``The end of the year, the flow of water, and the treasure ship that waits for tomorrow'' from the biography of the Ako Gishi.

``When I look back at the end of the year, I realize that I am no different from last year.''

Judge's comment: I find it refreshing that the author is familiar with the regrets that everyone has, and the way he expresses his own heart without relying on the style of waka poems (especially since the author is well versed in waka style poetry). ). However, ``gaesaba'' is a positive conjunctive condition, but here, ``if you return'' is a positive positive condition.

``Life in a mountain village where the snow falls heavily on the sodegasa and is hurried home.''

Judge's review: This is a very Japanese New Year's view of a mountain village, reminiscent of the scenery of ``Kasa Jizo'', and it looks like it could be made into an ink painting. ``Toteteha'' seems to have an active nature as a poem, so for example, how about ``It's falling on a sodegasa and the snow is coming soon'' (the duality of no space and no time is alive).

``Snow snow blankets the path along the mountainside as the years pass.''

Reviewer's review: A typical winter scene near the deep mountains, with its incredible heavy snowfall. However, ``hurrying up to the next year'' sounds like a cliché, and I would like to summarize it as a winter scene, for example, ``returning the way we came.''

“As I grow older, my feelings deepen and I can no longer breathe.”

Judge's review: A memorable song, perfect for New Year's Eve. Although there is no word for ``snow,'' the heavy snowfall seems to cover the author, swallowing him up until he can barely breathe. I'm curious if this kind of ``love'' is actually ``love'' or what kind of thing it is. Because of the ``zo'' character, the sentence ends with ``dekinu'', and ``ohite'' becomes ``ohohite''. The third and fourth verses have the same "te", so you want to avoid that.For example, you can write the fourth verse as "Oharuru wa".

``As I sit among the pine trees on the road, I think about my upcoming journey.''

Judge's review: A New Year's song that looks back on the year, connecting the ``snow'' that accumulates on the pine trees to ``the end of the year''. It's nice to compare the year to a journey, ``going'' and ``coming''.

Learn the basics of waka poetry and try reciting it!

We are holding a "Utajuku" with the goal of learning from representative classical works and being able to compose traditional "Waka" on an individual basis!

季刊誌「和歌文芸」
令和六年冬号(Amazonにて販売中)

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